Advanced English Conversations:
Dealing with Bullies
In this advanced English conversation, I speak with Emma, one of the teachers at EnglishTVLive, about her experience with bullies as a student and as a teacher. This will be a great opportunity for you to improve your English listening skills and learn more about one of the best pronunciation teachers around!
The Fear of Speaking English
Something that was quite surprising for me to discover as an English teacher was that many English learners around the world have a fear of communicating in English. I can't tell you how many emails I've received from people who tell me that they've struggled for years to practice speaking in English with others because they're afraid of making mistakes.
Now, the fear of communicating in English is a complicated problem, and there are many different reasons that could explain why some English learners have this issue. Some of us are more introverted than others, and communicating openly in a foreign language can feel uncomfortable; some of us have been taught that we NEED to have perfect grammar when we communicate; some of us are more socially anxious than others. The list goes on and on...
But here's something that I've noticed (and I'll speak generally here about my own observations as an English teacher): More often than not, people who suffer from a lack of confidence and/or fear of communicating in English also have a difficult relationship with at least one other person in their life...Not all the time, but often.
Many of my students have told me about people they have in their lives--colleagues, "friends", and/or family members--who regularly make life more difficult and stressful than it needs to be. One of my students from Bangladesh, for example, once told me how her coworkers would tease her ruthlessly every time she spoke in English at the office. Her English level was quite high, but she had come to lack confidence in her own abilities as an English speaker because of her experience with these co-workers.
Advanced English Conversations: Bullying
So, what should you do if someone is making your life miserable? How do you deal with people who seem to take pleasure in watching you suffer? How can you handle bullies? In this episode of podcast, you'll get to learn more about one of our teachers at EnglishTVLive, Emma, who has had her own challenges with bullies in the past. Her story is quite inspiring, and I hope you enjoy the wisdom she shares!
After you've listened to the episode, there's some bonus vocabulary below. Make sure to check out the challenge questions too!
Bonus Vocabulary/Listening Practice
Listen to the excerpts below from the conversation I had with Emma. Each excerpt comes with a transcript and some bonus vocabulary! There are also some challenge questions for you to complete at the bottom of this page once you've listened to the full podcast episode.
Excerpt one:
Emma: I can still remember, you know, these same bullies, unfortunately, they went to sixth form with me. But it was just incredible.
I don't know what it was one day. This--one of the guys started started shouting at me in the corridor, like shouting abuse--as you do, casually shouting abuse to people in the corridor. And I just--I don't know. Something in my head just clicked.
I turned around and I shouted back and I stood up for myself for the first time in my life and this was about age 16--the first time. And that guy never said anything to me again, like nothing again. Neither did his friends. Nothing. So, you know, when I realized that like, "Wow, why didn't I do this earlier? Why didn't I stick up for myself before?"
You know, I was kind of annoyed with myself. But, I mean, it took all those years of bullying to generate that strength, you know?Vocabulary from this excerpt:
Sixth form: To be honest, I'm still confused about what "sixth form" is. I'd never heard of it before speaking with Emma. It seems like a place where British students go between the ages of 16-18 to study.
Corridor: A corridor is a long passage in a building with doors that lead to rooms on the side. (below is an example of a corridor)
To stand up for one's self: If you stand up for yourself, you defend yourself against someone (or a group of people) who is harassing you in some way. .
In this example, Emma says this moment was the first time she had ever stood up for herself. This was the first time she defended herself against someone who was bullying her.
Excerpt two:
Emma: I just don't like seeing anyone struggling. And I don't like seeing anyone--I don't want to say in pain, but, you know I mean, like--I just don't I just don't like watching people struggling in a situation basically.
And I, you know, I see many people struggling with language and I think, you know, "Language should be the last thing holding you back!".You know, if you're already shy and then you have a language barrier on top of that, it's like you become double shy. And, you know that makes you kind of vulnerable unfortunately.
In England--I don't want to put people off coming to England and wanting to work here--but unfortunately, people will take advantage of you just because they think they think you're stupid because your English isn't very good or, you know, they think that you're less intelligent than what you are. I mean I teach people who are engineers and doctors and lawyers and so on, and their English isn't fantastic yet.
It's so sad because people talk to them like they're idiots, you know, almost like they're children. And I hate that. I hate it so much. Or they kind of get put as the--I don't know what you would call it but, you know--they get given all the rubbish jobs at work because they're not brave enough to complain or they're not brave enough to say no and things like that.
And I hate it. I hate it so much. And I teach my students, like you know, "I'm just going to teach you a lesson on how to say no--how to say no to your boss." And that's it.
Jacob: One thing that helped me a lot--you can tell me what you think about this--but when I was in Korea--I've never been too shy--sometimes I'm shy just like anyone else. But when I was learning Korean, I would try to practice all the time with native speakers. And one thing that helped me a lot was kind of making fun of myself.
And it's funny how it works--and it seems kind of like you take this approach to in ways with humor. I know that in our life lessons you're laughing all the time and joking. And one thing that I would do, for example, is in a cab, I'd be practicing with the cab driver. And sometimes I would just say something that didn't make any sense at all.
And I could tell the cab driver just had no idea what I was talking about. And what I would say--in Korean I would say this--is "Oh sorry, you know, I'm just a stupid foreigner. I'm trying to learn the language." And I'd make fun of myself.
And like, instantly he would-- the cab driver would--you could see their face light up. and they'd start laughing and kind of be like, "Yeah, you are a stupid foreigner, but okay. They'd treat me better because I was making fun of myself, and I think that's that's one approach that works. What do you think about that?
Vocabulary from this excerpt:
Holding you back: If something is holding you back, that thing is preventing you from doing something that you want to do.
To put someone off (of something): If you put someone off, you cause that person to lose interest in something they had wanted to do.
In this case, Emma is speaking about some of the dangers that English learners might face while living in London. She says that she doesn't want to "put people off coming to England". In other words, she doesn't want to discourage or scare people from coming to England.
To make fun of someone: If you make fun of someone, you tease that person or make a joke about that person. In this case, I'm talking about making fun of myself. We could also call this self-deprecating humor. If you are being self-deprecating, you are mocking yourself in front of others (and often we do this for humor's sake).
Challenge Questions:
Feel free to answer any or all of these questions in the comments!
- What did you think of Emma's story?
- Have you ever experienced bullying before?
- Has anyone ever teased you or made you feel bad about your English level?
- Do you struggle with a fear of speaking in English? If so, how do you deal with it?
Make sure to follow Emma online!
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pronunciationwithemma
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNfm92h83W2i2ijc5Xwp_IA
1. The story of bullies is also happen to my country.. I think it’s become somekind of habits or culture here.. What a sad facts..
2. No, I haven’t
3. Of course, many of them often make me feel bad in every skills of English.. Listening, pronounciation, writing.. Sometimes it makes me down.
4. Yes, in some situations, I get nervous when I try to speak in English, such as when discussing a topic with my friends, speaking in front of my friends, and in other situations.. But, I always try to deal with it.. with my ways.. maybe take a long breath before you speak, imagine that there is nobody see you when you’re talking, etc..
Sorry for my bad grammar.. I’m just 19 years old from Indonesia..
Thanks for the comment. And don’t apologize 😉 Everyone is here to learn!
Your English isn’t bad Rafli. Keep learning 🙂
Thank you so much for this podcast. I’d say I really like Emma’s style. She can be a sweet as well as a strong woman at the same time.
1. What did you think of Emma’s story?
– well, I think it can happen everywhere. it depends on How can we deal with them, I like the way Emma react to those guys, so brave ^^
2. Have you ever experienced bullying before?
– Honestly, no.
3. Has anyone ever teased you or made you feel bad about your English level?
– No…… but I used to feel bad by myself when I talked with someone who has better than me too much.
4. Do you struggle with a fear of speaking in English? If so, how do you deal with it?
– I’d say no at this moment because if I still fear of speaking in English, I can’t improve it. I try to speak with the foreigner, for example, my co-workers, foreign friends. In my opinion, speaking is the most important skills due to if I can’t express myself even though I have a lot of words in my brain, excellent in grammar, very well in writing, very good listening but it seems I learn nothing.
Thank you for the comment, Nim! Happy to hear that you enjoyed the episode! I especially like your answer to #4. Great work!
Thanks for this helpful conversation. Unfortunately, many times I’ve struggled on different situations because of lack of my English. However, l tried to solve the problem with improve my English.Emma Said right “ sometimes I’m so shy or not enough confident” to complain about something because I don’t know exactly how explain or maybe complain about something in the Uk.
Thanks for the comment Ellie 🙂 Glad you enjoyed the podcast. Confidence is a tricky thing. Keep fighting hard, and you will get to where you want to be!
once when i was studing level number level five embarass us he made we listened an audio but at the end he considered that we was completely donkeys ’cause the audio was dificult to understand for us. i believe the teacher is the best example for the future speaker if he is a good teacher yhat will be a good disciple later that could copy his example.
Thanks for the comment Marlon Areas!
I think Emma’s story is good to know so we can learn on how to deal with bullying. I have ever experienced bullying. When I was in sixth grade, I felt nervous when I had to walk passing a crowd of boys on the sidewalk..one of them touched my shoulder. I didn’t know how it happened and who did that to me. I was shocked, I looked at them, I wanted to scream but there was no sound came out from my mouth. I was so scared.. then I ran back home very fast. Later I learnt self defend “Perisai Diri” to prepare if one day I get bad treatment from bad guys. Luckily I never get bullying again.
About my English. No one ever made me feel bad about my English. Before I felt so shy when I was speaking English, but it just because of my though. People in my country, Indonesia, are common to say sorry if they think they speak English wrong like @Rafli said, and I ever said sorry to foreigners too about my English. Then I see many people say or write broken English on the net and nothing happens to them. Now I rectify my thought: If I think my English isn’t good then my English will be bad and if I think my English is good then it will be better (one day).
I really like your attitude Wendy 🙂 Very wise words at the end. That sounds like it was a very scary experience. Thank you for sharing, and I’m glad you enjoyed the podcast 🙂
No I never experienced to be victim of bullying ,because i do not use English a lot in daily basis , so I do not exposed to a situation to speak English face to face,and I do not care about people opinion about my English level,if they struggling to understand me its their own problem try to manage it 😂😂,they should come down to my level to understand me , i hate to give explanation and engaged in long conversation in attempt to discuss them what I mean.
the real problem that I had experienced is that people sometimes misunderstand you,imean the native speakers of any foreign language not just english and. It is normally ,still there is a gap,may the difference in culture deepen the root of problem,sometimes we use expression in our first language could hold mean meaning in the second language ,so
when I speak in foreign language I try As much as possible to speak briefly , and to be I selective , this process consume time and exhausted.as a solution to this plight,i try not going in depth of language, not like my native language to avoid slipping down in language trap ,avoiding to be prey of misunderstanding,and this hold me back because I feel that I do not speak naturally ,and I feel that I haunted with person I do not know,and I could not express myself properly.
When I was in school , my schoolmates and my English teacher were made fun on me in classroom my teacher meant by intention to give me long paragraphe to read, as kind of revenege ,and I was feeling that I will get shoked while pronouncing words,after I get. Finished I feel relief,
Like a heavy stone had displaced from my chest.
🙁 That’s really terrible that they did that to you in school. I would encourage you to keep taking risks in English, even you’re misunderstood from time to time. Thank you for the comment Feda, and I appreciate you sharing your story!
I liked Emma’s story and l agree with her opinion,
When it comes to language yes lt happened to me once. But l don’t give up.
Thanks for this podcast.
You’re very welcome Behar! Glad you enjoyed the podcast 🙂
Thank you so much for this podcast. I’d say I really like Emma’s style. She can be a sweet as well as a strong woman at the same time.And thank you also Jacob,for the kinds of the range of vocabulary he used to describe his trip to Korean,how he learn the Korean language,I think if you want to learn a language you have to trust yourself and trust your skills.And of course,doing what you like motivate you to improve your goal.
Glad you enjoyed the podcast, Rissa! Thanks for the comment 🙂
Hi Emma and Jacob! Thank you for this podcast:-)I enjoyed listening to it.You’ve done a great job.Here are my answers for your questions :
1. Emma’s story was amazing! She felt sympathy to that guy and actually she help him out and show him that he should stand up for your self and fight for what he believe in. If you don’t who does?
2.Fortunately I’ve never experienced it.
3.I don’t actually remember but if someone did I would ignore them because I would understand that they’re only trying to put me back up and feel bad.
4.I used to struggle a lot. The solution is simple I started speaking to native speakers. I realized that it’s inevitable to avoid mistakes and it’s natural process of learning of any languages .
I am looking forward to your next podcast.It’s really helpful and in this case we can boost our listening skills:-)
Awesome, Yulia! Glad you’re enjoying the podcast. I especially liked your answer to #4. Thanks for the comment! 🙂
What did you think of Emma’s story?
I’m shocked by the fact that teachers decide to ignore when someone’s getting bullied. That’s very common, unfortunately.
Have you ever experienced bullying before?
Yeah, I have. But I’ve always thought certain people don’t deserve my attention as Emma said.
Has anyone ever teased you or made you feel bad about your English level?
No. I’ve been lucky.
Do you struggle with a fear of speaking in English? If so, how do you deal with it?
Not at all. There are no shortcuts for learning Eglish or any other language, so the more mistakes I make the better I’ll get. Also, English TV is a great place to speak freely because I know no one will make fun of my mistakes and vice-versa. I encourage EngTV students to make mistakes.
This is such a great comment, Daniel 🙂 Thank you. I really think you have a great attitude. Happy to hear that you’re enjoying both the podcast and EnglishTVLive! Awesome stuff!
Hi teacher thanks it was great and an instructive .
If you culd have an imitation program which we can imitate that will be good
Hi Ismail 🙂
We do lots of imitation exercises inside of our private community with Emma when she’s live on Fridays! We’d love to have you as a member 🙂
Wow!!! What an excellent conversation .that is my policy too!. I usually cut all the people who doesn’t value my existence.i was once bullied too when I was in my elementary days because I’m too small. But what you did right that was the I did too hahaha. You can practice that again when you have a baby hahahaha( I mean shouting).
Thanks Grace! Glad that you enjoyed the episode 🙂 🙂
Thank you very much Teacher 👩🏫
Thank you so much for this podcast Teacher!
You’re welcome!
Hello everyone. I’ve just listened to the episode. Emma’s story about her school years is very familiar to me. Luckily, I meet a lot of very kind and nice people in my life.
I do want to highlight what Emma has done for that boy in Catalonia’s school. It seems to me there are many people, who can see themselves in that schoolboy. I was touched by Emma’s action. I really appreciate it. It is so great there are brave people like Emma.
Thank you, Jacob, thank you, Emma, for your wonderful podcast.
Very happy to hear that you enjoyed it, Viktor! 🙂 Thanks for the comment!